I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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