if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
