All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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