Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
