the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
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And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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