Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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