i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
