Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
