You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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