I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
