I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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