Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
