A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
