It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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