Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
