when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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