she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
