It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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