why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize