I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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