What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think my moral compass just broke
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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