Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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