are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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