My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
whose parrot is this?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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