these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
