Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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