The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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