Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
