It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
