shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I had to cum in my sink.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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