when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
