And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
