Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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