just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Everything about him screamed your future.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....