even my farts smell like vagina
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
