I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
