This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize