would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
