I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
