grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My feet surprised me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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