Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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