I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
