What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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