I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
