dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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