how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We have so much sex to catch up on
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
