i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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