SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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