I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
