we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
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You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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