he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
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I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize