in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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