I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
