R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
