She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
