fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
