Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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